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Personal Finance Is Not A Pissing Contest

April 29, 2013

“I paid off $20,000 of credit card debt in a year!”

“Oh yeah? I paid off $20,000 of credit card debt in a year and I only make $30,000.”

“That’s nothing – my best friend paid off $20,000 in a year and she only makes $30,000 and she goes to school full time.”

I think you see where I’m going with this. Whenever someone in the personal finance community accomplishes something with their money, there is always, always someone out there trying to one-up her. Or, alternatively, there’s the other type of personal finance one-upmanship: the who-had-it-harder contest. Usually that goes something like this:

Annoying Competitive PFer #1: “I paid off my student loans!”

Annoying Competitive PFer #2:”Great! I’m still trying to pay mine off; you know, my parents didn’t pay for any of my schooling.”

Annoying Competitive PFer #1:”Well, me neither. At least you got a scholarship to help you.”

Annoying Competitive PFer #2: “Yeah, but my tuition costs were so much higher than yours, and I didn’t qualify for work-study.”

Annoying Competitive PFer #1: “Yeah, well…”

….and so one and so on…

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting incredibly sick of reading this type of stuff in peoples’ posts and comments. Folks, these are the facts:

  • Life isn’t fair. Some people are up against more than others. That doesn’t mean that the people who got some “lucky breaks” aren’t working hard and accomplishing things with their money.
  • Everyone starts in a different place financially. There’s no sense in getting hung up on who had it easier, who got more from their parents, blah, blah, blah.
  • There’s usually a lot more to peoples’ lives – financial and otherwise – than meets the eye. Don’t assume that what people present on the Internet is the whole story.

So I’m kindly requesting – nay, pleading with you, PF comrades – we need to make this pissing contest stop. Managing money well is hard. It requires a lot of discipline, patience, and tough decision making. The purpose of being a part of the personal finance blogging community is to help and support each other, not to rip into others for “having it easy” or competing over whose financial accomplishment is more valuable or impressive.

Guys, we’re better than this petty bullshit. So this week, for a change, let’s all be as supportive and encouraging as we can. Leave someone a comment that you know will brighten their day instead of make them fume. Send a PF blogger an email just to let her know that you’ve noticed all her hard work and think she’s great. Tweet a link to a new blogger’s post or send some positive feedback her way.

But whatever you do, don’t compete or snark, please. I think we’ve all had enough of that.

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Blogging, Psychology of Personal Finance, Uncategorized

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I am NOT a financial professional, and any advice, thoughts, or comments shared on this blog should be taken only after careful consideration by the reader and consultation with her financial adviser.

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